Tess / Toronto / 06.27.16
What is my relationship with my body? It has changed a lot over the years. I have fluctuated physically and spiritually so intensely. I had it really wrong for a long time, I thought if I could control the way I looked, nothing could hurt me. If I looked perfect, nothing could be imperfect. About three years ago my friend who is a holistic nutritionist asked me to try saying yes for a year, yes to self love, yes to food, yes to the unknown, it was really hard at first, and every so often it still is. I am so proud of the woman I have become through the relationship with my body. I know myself so well, I have rubbed and kissed and loved every inch of my authentic body. I work in a business littered with triggers, but these are good, because they are tests, and check ins, and opportunities to be shown how strong I have become, strong but soft too. The idea of wanting to take up so much energetic space as a human but not wanting to take up any physical space was a struggle for a long time, but everyday I become wiser about that. I was really comforted when I discovered This Body Project. I think it is really easy to feel alone, like no one has ever felt the way you feel, so I was really grateful to read everyones stories. I was nervous to do my photo shoot, I didn't know whether or not I was ready, but once we started shooting it felt like a celebration. We played Beyonce and everyone in the room ended up in their underwear to make me feel comfortable, it was incredible. I was also anxious about getting the photos back, terrified I would hate what I saw, but I took some deep breaths and it wasn't so hard, I was even able to admire a bit.
Dear body, I love you, you are sacred as fuck and I am going to spend the rest of my life loving you.